An Old Log Cabin

Lately I find an old song running through my mind. "There's an Old Log Cabin for Sale." The haunting words and melody seems to fit my mood these days, like something is lost forever yet there is the possibility of a bright future that can arise out of it.

I struggled so much against returning to Convergys and, in some ways, I still do. Yet, at the same time, it is so wonderful to see so many old friends who I've kept in touch with but not seen as well as the new friends I've met in my training class. I'm the old lady in the group, the next oldest being 35. Average class age is 22 but they seem to accept me fully and have no problem letting loose and including me in the fun.

My friend, Charles, is reflecting my mood. We are both in somewhat of the same position - not doing what we want and coming down from the unexpected furor of the flag flap. We both see things going back underground and wonder if the nay-sayers were right; that it was all just a tempest in a teapot.

Sense of Loss

It is so hard to believe it has only been less than four weeks since the Pride in the Park rally and the beginning of the Facebook group. The energy and static flying about was amazing. Now, it seems to be drifting away. People are leaving the group, their interest gone now that it no longer appears to be such a hot issue.

The wonderful friends and kindred spirits I gained now, too, seem to be drifting away. They rarely visit/post in the group and I have a hard time even finding them on line most of the time. I now feel very lonely, sitting here in the wee hours, hoping for a chance to speak with them, if only for a few moments.

There are those who would, and did, accuse me of craving the limelight. I won't lie; in a way, I have enjoyed it. Not, as they would say, because of the media coverage or the compliments that were flying thick and fast but, instead, for the knowledge that, for one brief moment in time, I thought I had made a difference.

But did I really? Nothing seems to have changed. The haters still hate, the apathetic still have their heads in the sand and the passionate ones find another 'cause' to champion. The world continues to turn.