Finally, 2007 is over. It has been a year of hurt and pain on a personal level. Now, don't get me wrong, since August there have been some amazing things happening.
When the year started, both Bruce and I were working at Convergys. He says he wasn't minding it; I hated it. Would grit my teeth everyday, paint on a fake smile, suck it up and go through "the portal of Hell," as Bruce called. By the time April rolled around, things were about to change quite drastically.
Bruce started spiralling into a deep depression. I struggled to keep going for a while but Bruce's situation combined with some of my own demons, put us both off work in mid-April. Bruce's condition is a life-long struggle; mine, more situational. Fortunately I was able to access some counselling session through my work.
Four years ago this past July, my brother, Jim, passed away unexpectedly. We had not seen him in over 20 years because he lived in Inuvik and, Jim being Jim (loner), we rarely even heard from him. Since he had no phone, we couldn't even contact him. Anyway, the circumstances surrounding his death meant cremation and he arrived home 2 weeks after his death in a tiny little box. The long weekend in August that was meant to be a family reunion was, I suppose you could say, just that, his funeral. Unfortunately, very little closure to the situation. In our younger years, Jim and I had been joined at the hip; he was my idol even though there were 4 years separating us. For months afterward I cried on a daily basis especially in early September as our birthdays are only 3 days apart. Even now as I write this, the tears are starting to flow.
There were some other major occurrences that year, none as major as this but all took a strong emotional toll. That fall, my job ended in Truro and I was transferred to the Enfield office which meant a daily commute of 45 minutes each way. I am not a good traveller at the best of times. However, the job itself I enjoyed so I muddled through.
A year went by and the anniversary of Jim's death. Very rough but I expected that, equally our birthdays. In October my Aunt Babe passed away scrapping the scab of the unhealed wound. Because of the situation, I put off a doctor's appointment then in November began to feel very run down. When I finally made it to the doctor we discovered a lump in my thyroid. Six very long anxious months of tests, mistakes, wrong numbers, misplaced test results, etc. (our health care system at work) and when I finally got to the point of biopsy the lump had shrunk too much to get a sample then finally disappeared on it's own. Throughout this I was on and off my thyroid medication. Hypoactive thyroid can lead to depression and fatigue which, in my case it did.
Now, bear in mind, throughout all of this, I kept my employer apprise of what was taking place and, on the surface, he was very understanding and supportive. Sometime in the spring, just as things were starting to work themselves out, things started turning cold at work. The manager in Enfield kept getting in little digs here and there, insinuating things were about to change for me, etc. Finally, one day I snapped. I take full responsibility for it but it was just what she was looking for. Within a few weeks I was escorted to the door; here's your hat, what's your hurry. And when did this happen? You guessed it. On the eve of the second anniversary of Jim's death. For the next few years I was in and out of work, could never settle down to anything.
After being off work this past summer and the counselling, I am coping a little better. Bruce is on the mend and things are looking up. I am starting to move up at work and have a new vehicle (picked her up this morning).
August was a blast with the Flag Flap and Facebook. I have made so many new and amazing friends: Glenda C., Glenda H.R., Johnny, Charles and all the members of Truro Pride/Rainbow Proud, Abbe and Brian , Raven & Alan, the great people at Convergys (absolutely too many to name), my Scrabulous opponents (Peter, Lorraine, et al), my Pirates bomb buddies (you evil folks), the list goes on and on. Some of you I have known for years; others I just met online a few days ago (Hi, Jassy); some of my Facebook friends I have met in person (now that I have the car I'll be over to your places, Johnny & Abbe); others are travel plans in the works, Glenda in Ontario and Glenda in Cape Breton).
If anyone ever asks what I think of Facebook, I can tell them in no uncertain terms, it has been a lifeline for me. It has gotten my through many lonely days and nights will Bruce has been ill. To all the wonderful folks on my friends list: Thank you for sharing a small part of yourself with me.
Oh, yes, and to Shaun and the Centre of Hope in Halifax, thanks for the Community Impact Award. I still get a thrill whenever I see it, which is every day as it hangs in a very prominent location.
Come on 2008, show me what you've got!
