drunken ramblings

Sitting here at 5:49 am, after polishing off a bottle of wine provided by my husband who is quietly snoring away in the next room, I am reviewing the events of the past week. I know, I know, never a great thing to do on a bottle of wine. I spoke up for what I believed in. Those that matter, tell me I did the right thing, yet why do I feel like I've royally screwed up my life. I've spent countless hours crying silently so as to not upset Bruce. Fighting to maintain my dignity at work, yet feeling so very alone. I sit here wanting to cry yet again but the tears will not come. I haven't truly recovered from my depression, just enough to fake it so the doctor will send me back to work. With Bruce applying for CPP, I don't have much of a choice. He doesn't qualify for long term disability so one of us has to work. It is going to be a long, financially broke and lonely winter. I should go to bed but I fear bed spins. Don't tell me I'm an alcoholic but at times like this I almost wish I were. At least I would have the ability to drink myself into a stupor.

Silence

You are important to me.
Silence.
Let's get together.
Silence.
Looking forward to it.
Silence.

Excitement building.
Silence.
Watching in anticipation.
Silence.
Friends that never were.
Silence.

Busy Weekend

It has, indeed, been a busy weekend. It started off when work ended at 12:30 on Friday (technically Saturday, but we hadn't been to sleep yet). My training class is only a few days from completing our course so decided to have a graduation party. We went to Jessica's boyfriend's house (a magnificent place - he's one of the who's who in Truro) and started the evening off with Jello shooters.

Helen was an absolute entertainment whiz. She kept us laughing all evening long with her down home wit. Jessica wrote a poem about the class and managed to come up with something for everyone. Phil was there, even though circumstances in his life meant he missed time and had to transfer to another class. Abby and Jared, well, what can I say, these kids today just can't hold their liquor. They left a little piece of themselves behind. I ended up taking Abby home in a taxi and Jared passed out in his truck.

Saturday began when I jumped out of bed at 12:05 and went to the Town Hall on Religious Freedom and Equality Rights. We had a crowd of about 50-70 people with a good outcome. I just hope it wasn't all hype for the media. We will see. Saturday night my daughter, Lenore, and I went to the Pride dance and had a blast. Stayed the entire 4 hours and saw lots of people I knew as well as met several others.

Sunday was a little more relaxed. Spent the day with Bruce (or at least the afternoon) then went to a planning committee meeting of the Pride parade for next year. We went to Rev. Jay's and were treated to chili, salad and wine for supper. Got a lot of initial things discussed and decided. It's going to be good.